Fables

The prince slowly walked up the stairs that led to the only room in the tallest tower. He paused a while at the door to adjust his attire before he turned the knob and entered the room. He saw a shadow sitting at the edge of a four-post bed, facing him.

"Finally! I was just thinking to myself: there goes another one, another prince being killed by the merciless dragon. At this rate, all the princes in the world would be dead very soon, and I'll be trapped here forever," the shadow said.

The prince was startled, he thought he heard a man's voice. The shadow approached him and the light revealed a fair skinned, good looking young man standing in front of him. His eyes opened wide, in shock, and stared at the young man. The young man noticed and said, "What? Is there something wrong with me?"

"You're... you're a man," the prince replied. The young man stood still with arms akimbo, and grumbled, "I'm sorry to disappoint you, prince charming, but you know, I wish I wasn't here as well. I can't help it if the dragon wanted to kidnap me and lock me up in a tower, especially a female dragon, you know what I'm sayin'? Now, don't just stand there, help me pack my things, will ya?" the young man walked back to the bed and dragged out a suitcase from under it.

The prince didn't move an inch, his mind was too confused to do anything. He scratched his head and tried to figure out what went wrong.

"Oh, before I forget," the young man suddenly recalled. He walked to the only cabinet in the room and took something out of it. He then handed the thing over to the prince, and said, "Here, a token of appreciation," before going back to packing his stuffs. The prince examined the thing he just got in his hand and asked, "Emmm... Isn't this... a dildo?"

"Mmm hmmm," the young man replied. The prince waited for an explanation but it didn't happen. And so he asked, "Why would you give me a dildo?"

The young man rolled his eyes, then explained, "Well, let me see. First of all, it gave me pleasures during all those lonely nights, God only knows it did. Secondly, it's the only special thing that I have here. And thirdly, would you prefer something else, like, oh I don't know, my underwear? Or my semen? I'm not on vacation here you know, there's no shop selling souvenirs."

The prince held the dildo in his hand, undecided whether he should continue to hold it, or put it on the floor, considering where the dildo had been to during those lonely nights. The young man packed his last thing and closed the suitcase. He took the suitcase and walked over to the prince, then he said, "All set. Now you have to kiss me."

The prince looked at him and chuckled, "What?! You're kidding me right?" The young man stood there with a straight face, and said, "No I'm not. You have to kiss me, it's protocol. Don't you ever read? You have to kiss me to break the spell!"

The prince got a little bit worried after hearing that. He paused for a while before he asked, "You're not going to turn into an ogre like that Princess Fiona in that Shrek movie, right?" The young man pulled a Garfield face and said to himself, "Of all the princes in the world, this is what I get, a retard. Typical."

"Hey, I heard that," the prince protested. "Yeah, I know," said the young man, "Anyway, just follow my lead, we're leaving this horrendous place immediately." He headed towards the only door with his suitcase in hand.

The prince kept up behind. He still couldn't figure out the whole situation at hand. "Hey, what's that spell that you're trying to break anyway?" he asked. The young man answered while continuing down the stairs, "That is a good question. You know, I'm actually a girl. A witch turned me into a boy. So if you kiss me, I'll turn into a pretty princess, and we'll get married and live happily ever after."

"Really?!" the prince's eyes sparkled suddenly. The young man facepalm-ed, shook his head and continue walking. "Pretty princess... Like Cinderella? Or Belle? Or Snow White? I can't decide who is prettier," the prince said, suddenly realizing that the young man was almost out of sight. "Hey! Wait up! I need to give you that kiss to break the spell! Wait for me!..."


The End